As Economic Stability Becomes a Priority, Young Adults Are Choosing to Wait Before Tying the Knot

Marriage in America is increasingly becoming a symbol of financial success, with young adults prioritizing economic stability before considering marriage. Traditionally, marriage functioned more as an economic contract than a romantic one, offering couples a path to financial success. However, the narrative has shifted. Today, financial security is viewed as a prerequisite for marriage rather than a goal achieved after the wedding.

Young couples like Ryan and Amanda Dona, who married in February, see their union as a signal of their transition into a more secure stage of life. Both had achieved key financial milestones—such as buying a home and advancing in their careers—before getting married. This new mindset is known as the “capstone model” of marriage, where individuals wait to build their careers and wealth before tying the knot, replacing the older “cornerstone” model where people married young and worked together to achieve financial success.

According to sociologists and economists, this shift is contributing to a rise in the median age of first marriage, with the average age now at 30 for men and 29 for women, up from 28 and 26 respectively in 2008. The recent engagement of celebrities like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, both in their mid-30s and at the peak of their careers, exemplifies this trend.

However, this capstone model raises the bar for what people believe their lives need to look like before marriage, potentially making it less accessible for those who don’t meet these financial benchmarks. Researchers note that this shift can lead to more stable marriages, as people are more selective and take longer to commit. Yet, the overall marriage rate has declined, with the first-marriage rate among 22- to 45-year-olds dropping by 9% between 2008 and 2023.

Economic disparities between men and women are also complicating the capstone model. While women’s economic positions have improved, many men are struggling, making it harder for couples to achieve the financial stability required for marriage. Additionally, parental wealth plays a significant role in whether individuals can achieve the stability needed to marry, with those from higher-income families being more likely to get married.

As the institution of marriage becomes increasingly tied to financial success, questions arise about how to support marriage across all income levels and whether the current model is sustainable for a broader segment of the population. Some experts argue that policies aimed at reducing economic inequality and improving access to education and job opportunities could help make marriage more attainable for a wider range of people.

In the meantime, many young adults are choosing to delay marriage until they feel financially secure, reflecting a broader societal shift toward prioritizing personal and financial stability before making long-term life commitments. This trend is also influenced by changing social norms, the rising cost of living, and the increasing independence of women, who are more likely to have higher education and career opportunities than previous generations.

Moreover, the concept of “assortative mating”—where individuals tend to marry others of similar socioeconomic status—has become more pronounced. This means that people are more likely to marry someone with a comparable level of education, income, and career prospects, further reinforcing the link between financial stability and marriage.

In some cases, this financial focus on marriage has led to a decrease in the number of people who choose to marry at all. For instance, 34-year-old Eugene Hopper, an electrical engineer in Ohio, felt financially insecure for much of his life due to his military service and part-time work. He only recently felt ready to consider marriage, but after being on his own for so long, he now finds it difficult to imagine a life with a partner at the center.

Similarly, 32-year-old Catherine Marshall, a bartender in New Jersey, has always prioritized financial independence before considering marriage. As she has gotten older, she finds it increasingly difficult to envision a future with a partner, especially given her frustrations with the current dating landscape and the economic challenges she faces.

The financial pressures of marriage are also evident in the housing market. With home prices rising and the cost of living increasing, many young adults feel that they need to be in a stable financial position before even considering a home purchase, which is often a key milestone for marriage.

Experts suggest that while the capstone model of marriage may lead to more stable unions, it also risks excluding those who are not in a position to meet the high financial standards now associated with marriage. This could contribute to a growing divide between those who can afford to marry and those who cannot, further entrenching economic inequality.

As society continues to evolve, the question remains: How can the institution of marriage be supported across all income levels, and what policies or cultural shifts might help make it more accessible and meaningful for a broader segment of the population?