“A Personal Journey and Economic Insights on Achieving Better Deals for Women”

In a world where women are often expected to juggle multiple roles—career, family, and personal fulfillment—many find themselves feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled. The author, a mother and economist, recounts her own experience of burnout, highlighting how the pressures of work, family, and societal expectations have left women with lower happiness levels than they were 20 years ago. According to research from the World Happiness Report, women’s happiness has declined significantly over the past two decades, even as men’s happiness has improved. This growing disparity underscores the urgent need for change.

Her journey began with a realization: women are often given unfair, unsustainable deals in both their personal and professional lives. From the burden of household responsibilities to the challenges of career progression, women are frequently asked to do more with less. But change is possible. By rethinking the balance of work and life, women can begin to create better deals for themselves.

The author introduces the concept of a personal “utility function,” a framework for understanding what truly matters in life. This includes identifying individual values and priorities, rather than comparing oneself to others. She emphasizes that women should not feel guilty for choosing different paths—whether it be career, travel, or homemaking—since each person’s definition of success is unique. This is a key point in understanding why women often feel like they are failing when they don’t measure up to others’ standards.

She also highlights the need for women to negotiate better in the workplace, not just for themselves but for the value they bring to the table. Women are often underestimated as negotiators, but research shows that men are more likely to walk away from a negotiation without a deal. The key is to ensure that women feel empowered to advocate for themselves without fear of repercussions. The author references studies showing that women are often penalized for being assertive, which can discourage them from negotiating for better pay or promotions. In fact, a 2022 study by the Harvard Business Review found that women are 30% less likely to ask for raises than men, even when they have the same qualifications and performance metrics.

In relationships, the author suggests that women should treat their partners as they would a job candidate—assessing not just compatibility but also the ability to share responsibilities. By creating a “relationship performance-improvement plan,” couples can address imbalances in household duties and ensure that both partners are contributing equally. This includes tracking daily tasks and responsibilities, identifying areas where one partner may be overburdened, and redistributing the workload accordingly. The author recommends using tools like a shared calendar or a spreadsheet to map out daily activities and responsibilities, helping both partners see the full picture of their contributions.

Finally, the author encourages women to “pay themselves first” by prioritizing their time and well-being, just as they would with money. This includes outsourcing tasks, simplifying life, and investing in time for personal growth and happiness. She notes that society is more comfortable with outsourcing male-coded tasks, such as home repairs, than female-coded tasks like cooking and cleaning. This reflects a broader cultural bias that undervalues the time and effort required for these roles. The author also suggests that women consider hiring help, whether through a live-in au pair, a cleaner, or a babysitter, to free up time for themselves.

Ultimately, the message is clear: it’s time for women to stop accepting less and start demanding more from life, work, and relationships. By redefining what success means for them individually and advocating for fairer treatment, women can begin to reclaim their time, energy, and happiness. The author concludes with a call to action: it’s time to stop being the “doers” and start being the “designers” of our own lives, setting the terms of our own success and happiness.